Guest Blog – Sort of Back To Normal

Kelsey wrote a guest blog today.  Be brave, stay safe, and enjoy.

“Today I want to say I have felt closer to my family than I ever have before.   I wanted to tell you because you might think it is too much time away from other people.   You may be sad.  You may be lonely.  When you really think about it, you are spending quality time with family that you didn’t get before.  Look on the bright side, restaurants are opening inside and outside for dining.  Be kind.  Be brave.  Be yourself.

If you really get into it, life is getting back to normal but you still have to wear a mask.  It is a good thing because people need to start feeling happy.  They probably need time away from home.  It is a good thing that you can go out and/or stay in.  Life is sort of getting back to normal.   The good thing for me is that I always have a family to see and a car to see them.  I hope you had a family to see, too.   Now that things are a little bit back to normal, enjoy it. I cannot wait to go to a restaurant and EAT!   My family is not ready just yet, but I hope that you get out and can finally go somewhere.”

Be brave and enjoy.

#BraveSquad

The stress that a rare disease places on a family daily is sometimes hard to truly describe.  The quest for normalcy can sometimes drain us.  However, sometimes it brings us together in ways we never anticipated.

Kelsey’s brother has started a movement.  Since the start of the 2019-2020 school year, he has quietly supported his sister by wearing a BRAVE band.  It is a small movement, but one he leads daily with his BRAVE band.

When it was time to join a school club to support business ownership and the process of how to run a business, her brother and his buddies got to work.

Together, they designed unique items and together the #BraveSquad sold their items.  Proceeds of all purchases were donated to our organization.  We are beyond grateful.

Kelsey’s brother has looked forward to this night since September and he proudly sold 115 BRAVE bands with all proceeds going to Kelsey’s Kaleidoscope, Inc.  He does not always understand the rare journey we walk along together, but he has realized the importance of it in our lives.  He quietly supports his sister daily.  We are beyond proud.

#BraveSquad

#RareAsOne

Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook Founder, and his wife, Dr. Priscilla Chan, committed to the challenge, “Can we cure all diseases in our children’s lifetime?”  Daunting.  Amazing.  Fantastic idea!  Can they do it?  Here is to #hope…

On Monday, the couple announced one step in the right direction to conquer the challenge set forth in 2016.  They will offer grants to 30 recipients to advance research, training, and awareness.  Of the 30 selected, the dada2 foundation is one of the recipients to benefit from this large grant along with other resources over a two-year time period.

Wow.  We only hope our small community of dada2 patients grows and the resources lead to a cure for our girl and the many others we know with dada2.  Here is to hope and generosity in 2020…

#RareAsOne

Nine Lessons in Nine Years

Kelsey soon celebrates nine years of life.  Each of her nine years has been unique.  She has endured so many inquiries, tests, and circumstances, many of them we as adults may not have experienced.  To put it another way, it has been a journey.   Each year of the journey has taught us something new.  We are grateful for each year and the lessons we learned.

Year One taught us resilience.  We spent 16 days hospitalized and torn apart as a family, each in pain with worry, concern, and lacking a diagnosis.  By the first birthday celebration, we bounced back ready to learn more and find an answer.  Each one of us was forever changed by the experiences that we can never fully explain.

Year Two taught us to advocate.  In year one, we listened to poor medical advice and waited on others to seek solutions.  Year one was painful.  Year Two was the year of advocating.  Remember to be your own advocate and advocate for your children’s needs, always.  No one will ever care as much as you.  We did not accept, “she is fine!” and we sought answers instead of waiting for them to come to us.

Year Three taught us to listen.  Year Three gave us a diagnosis.  We thought that would make life easier, but instead, it led us to more questions and further complexities.  Medication battles with insurance and a true inability to process how little we knew made us listen more and savor small moments.  Upon one biopsy that resulted in a huge incision on the neckline, the surgeon soothed a mother’s worry about the scar to say, “We have to make sure she sees her next birthday.  This scar will help us figure out how to get her there.”  Listen.  Trust.  Breathe.  That was Year Three.

Year Four taught us promise.  There was so much promise in the medication we were using and so much happiness and joy brought back to our life when the medication started to work for our child.  A child who was once lifeless and listless was running and climbing stairs.  Promise and joy were restored in many of Year Four’s moments.

Year Five taught us Vulnerability.  We began this journey with Kelsey’s Kaleidoscope and we started to tell our story.  We put ourselves out there and started to spread awareness and raise money for our foundation.  We connected with others who shared our story.  We were weak when Kelsey took a tough turn and faced the return of frequent hospital visits and scans.  We had a fridge full of medication that no longer eased pain or brought joy.  We were vulnerable and scared.

Year Six taught us patience.  We trusted and prayed and after eight months of changes, a calm came for Kelsey.  She was walking, running, and smiling with ease.  We were patient and we were grateful.

Year Seven taught us endurance.  The road had been long and pain Kelsey started to feel emotionally and physically transferred to each member of her family in some way.  We laughed, we cried, and we got each other through.  It was not without a long road and another failed medication.  Spots, weakness, and pain returned to bruise emotions and bodies.

Year Eight taught us hope.  We were beyond touched by the community efforts and new faces that learned of our journey and cared.  We published a book, we went on television, and we reflected on where we are at this time.  We have hope and gratitude.

Year Nine is unknown and undefied.  Together, we are ready to persevere and lift each other.  We plan ahead and dream big.  We thank you for your support and kindness.  We wish Kelsey a happy ninth birthday and pray for all of her wishes to come true.

Fox 32 – Chicago

Thank you Good Day Chicago and Fox32 for helping us spread the word and raise awareness for Kelsey Hates the Needle. @Fox32Chicago

#newviewforpan #raredisease @kelseys_kaleidoscope #chasingthecure #newviewforpan @krystalalmora @Fox32Chicago

Storms we hope will pass

Each Tuesday night is unique.  The worry is constant and fear, worry, and sometimes anger are typical discussion points for most of the evening.

Tuesday evening was no different this week.  The marks all over the belly and the back were.  After a nice walk around a park and calming conversation, we thought our bedtime ritual would contain the easing of fears and the notion of sweet dreams ahead.

Instead, photos were taken, prayers were issued, and we are once again reminded of the mixed emotions we know the morning will bring.

The thunder outside echoes our inner fury and angst.

We hope the rain relieves the heat and our morning medication subsides our worry for another day.

Translation

With much happening and yet nothing all at once, I smile and log on to Facebook.

I am sad to read about another diagnosis across the ocean in Italy, but I am in awe that her words in Italian were translated for me in English.  Unfortunately, the disease keeps spreading as does its global awareness.  Language and cultures are neither a barrier nor a shield.

Our medical advisement can vary state to state, region to region, and continent to continent.  However, our mission remains the same.

We are lucky to connect with one another patient on a global scale, but our message should remain consistent and clear.

Tonight, I will sleep well knowing that more cases and more children are being evaluated, treated, and diagnosed.

Now… we continue to search for more wisdom and effective solutions to assure a better tomorrow for us all.  Italian, French, English, American, and everywhere in between, we are hear and we are working hard.

Translation = Gratitude


Save the Date!

April 5, 2018

Designer Bag Bingo

Together, we can…

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously…” This week, I have given thanks continuously.  I am still in shock of the overwhelming elegance, promise, and love felt at Valleybrook Country Club on Friday night, November 25.

Maybe it was because the event followed Thanksgiving?  After all, Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on the year that has passed and all the blessings in your life.  During Thanksgiving dinner, Kelsey said that she was grateful for one thing.  She said, “I am grateful for tomorrow night.”  Grateful seems an understatement.  My family fought back tears at her sentiment because we realized that she is already aware of kindness and gratitude at five years old.

I encourage both of my children to stay positive, give thanks, and count every blessing.  It seems that they are noticing and applying the cultivation of gratitude in their day to day lives.  For that, I am grateful.  

I think back to Friday evening with wonder.  I stood before the guests in absolute awe of the compassion and warmth that everyone had for Kelsey, our organization, and our cause.  We are still overwhelmed by the support and generosity shared at Valleybrook Country Club.  The collective efforts of the night helped us raise $11,000.  

The support we received on Friday evening both fueled our mission and strengthened our purpose.  We are committed to raising awareness and finding a cure.  This week, we are one step closer to those goals.  We are grateful beyond measure.

In closing, Helen Keller states that “alone, we can do so little.  Together, we can do so much.”  Kelsey’s Kaleidoscope, Inc: A New View for PAN is just getting started.  We are on a mission to raise awareness and find a cure for Polyarteritis Nodosa and all affected patients.  Our affected patient is grateful for you and so are we.  Together, we will do so much.  

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Scars? You are Beautiful!

Before I was a mother, I never pictured how I would endure a cut, a scrape, an illness, a broken bone, or a stitch.  I just hoped that I would find the strength if I was ever faced with a challenge because that is what mothers do…

This morning, my five year old blind-sided me, though.  

We were cleaning her deep wound and changing its dressing, which remains an open sore both physically and mentally of her most recent biopsy.  Her puffy, steroid-full face, started to stream with tears.

“What is it baby girl?” I questioned full of concern.

“How long will I be covered with a bandage here Mom?” she asked with a deeply concerned stare.

“Well, when we visit the doctor, she will let us know.  For now, we will keep it clean and covered, OK?”  I replied thinking that I aced it on the mom end.

“Well, that leads me to my worry, Mom,” she continued with concern and curiosity.

“Oh, (gulp of fear) what is it babe?” I asked hoping that I was equipped to answer the next few words she uttered.

“I can think of two ways the kids will view me when they see this wound, Mom.  They will either think that I am a monster or a fool.  I don’t want to be either.  (She then completely burst into tears)…  What other five year old has this gross part of her leg but a monster or a fool?” she stated with eyes of awareness and fear.

I stood absolutely speechless for a moment (an odd and difficult stance for me typically) to carefully consider my words and the weight they would carry.  This was the first time through all that Kelsey’s little, scarred body has endured that she has been keenly aware.

“Kelsey, when I look at you, I see a girl with a battle wound, one of many that represents courage, strength, wisdom, and beauty.  Neither monster nor fool has qualities like that.”

Silence and deep thought ensued.

Our eyes locked before we shared a silent, warm embrace.

I thought about this conversation all day long.

When I picked her up from school, she was beaming with a grin from ear to ear.

“I am SO happy, Mom!  Today, I opened up to my friend about my fear.  It was difficult to talk about with someone, but I learned that this friend is a true friend to me.  Do you know why?”

“Why Kels?” I asked feeling both proud and terrified.

“Mom, she said that I was really great the way I am, even with stitches.  She made me so happy because she said that I was not a MONSTER or a FOOL.  Isn’t that SO great?”

I balled my eyes out for the duration of our drive over this two minute conversation, realizing just how much we all need to feel accepted and loved.  I did not ace the early morning kitchen conversation because I am not five.  This much was clear to me.

However, I can reassure her, encourage her, and do everything in my power to empower her.

I also have to remember that she is five.

The next day, another child made Kelsey feel upset and worried in school.  Kelsey’s trusted friend shared Kelsey’s secret and told another little lady about the scar.   Kels was scared about what everyone would think.   I reassured her, encouraged her, and did everything I could to empower her once more.  

“Kelsey, you are courageous, strong, wise, and beautiful.  I heard a song today that spoke to all of the ways you feel right now.”

I played Alessia Cara Scars to Your Beautiful and together we sang, “You don’t have to change a thing, the world can change its heart.  Scars to your beautiful.  Scars to your beautiful.”