Still

Solace.  A time to be alone and think.

At six, I cannot imagine the complexity Kelsey feels at times.  Explaining to her that we needed to take pictures of her brain was a challenge.  I tried to explain the “boo boos” that have been noticed on her brain and how we wanted to monitor them and make sure that no new ones appeared.

It was hard to get those words out.  

Then we took a risk and thought we would try to approach the test without sedation.  Kelsey is brave and strong but laying for an hour calm and still at six seemed daunting.  We gave her the options and felt relief and worry when she choose to approach this sans sedation.  No IV, no pain from another needle made me less anxious, but still at six years old…

I sat and watched her sweet little body lay there for one solid hour.  She was calm, still, and patient for the duration.  She did not move once.

Heavy.  

To know she understands.  

To know she was brave enough to do it.  

Worry.  

An unsettling finding leaves worry, fear, and the deceptive face of PAN as a fresh imprint on the brains of those who know worry most.  

We pray.  We hope.  We are still.


Please join us on November 24, 2017 for our 2nd annual Gala.  Tickets can be purchased here.

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