I’ll never forget the morning I learned I was pregnant. Instinctively, I just knew. I felt “different” and dizzy for at least a week. The lines confirmed what my body knew to be true. I also knew without a doubt that it was a boy.
That moment will stay with me as one of the happiest moments of my life. New life, excitement, and happiness.
Since that early morning excitement in July of 2008, I have watched friends and family members suffer loss. I have seen that absolute excitement fade into depression and deep distress. I have witnessed close friends struggle to conceive. I thought of every one of those moments this Mother’s Day.
On Sunday, I walked alone into Shop Rite. As I crossed the pedestrian walkway, the crossing guard wished me a Happy Mother’s Day. Sans children at that moment, I thought about those losses, about those friends, about the women who would make incredible mothers but have not been given that gift yet.
The woman meant complete and sincere well wishes. Was she a mother herself? What if I was currently attempting to conceive and struggling? I thought of those woman. I prayed for those woman.
Though it was just an act of kindness, it truly made me reflect on motherhood and all of its joys and challenges.
I thought back to that moment when the positive lines surfaced. The thrill of that moment and the knowledge that life was developing inside of me; it was pure excitement. I can remember my own mother fearing every single day of my pregnancy straight through to my difficult delivery. Knowing what I know now, I understand her concern and worry.
I realize that it is my opinion that the squeal of delight, genuine hug, or kind word from my child cannot be equally matched by anything else in the world. However, that unmatched, genuine love comes with great responsibility. The reality of motherhood is much less regal than I dreamed it would be. It is often thankless, difficult, and tiring.
Most mothers I know would have it no other way. I proudly stand among them and pray that the woman who wish to become mothers will soon know the pain and the glory that comes with the title.
To moms everywhere, thank you for being you. To my mom, thank you for giving me strength and courage when I need it most.