Month: March 2018

Mothers

Typically in the moments after giving my child a needle of life-saving medication, I dash upstairs both to run away from the nauseous feeling in the the pit of my stomach and to block out the shrieks of pain caused by my injection.  I usually put on my jewelry for the day and take a moment to breathe.  It’s our routine, and we all try our best to make it “ok.”

When Kelsey chose me to inject the medication, I did not think I could handle it.  Though we were both trained, my husband started the process first and seemed so much more competent and strong than I thought I could be as he injected.  I was the comfort and that role suited me fine.

Today’s injection was a particularly tough one.  In truth, perhaps they all are, but I often run away instead of having a moment to reflect on it.  As I sit to find strength in the joy of laughter now surrounding me, Kelsey comes over to me.

She sees my face and touches my cheeks with her hands.  She says, “Mom don’t be sad that you hurt me.  You did hurt me today, but I know you love me and that’s why.  You just want me to feel better.  Ok?  It’s OK Mom.”

OK?  Is it?  The truth is, it is not really OK.  It is not really OK because my child’s presence to offer me calm is the reverse of what should happen.  Her gentle smile and sweet touch leave me with no choice but to smile back at her.

As any mother knows, when your child asks for you, there you are.   Those are moments when inner strength and pure love take over without knowing how you do it.  You just do it.  You find a way to be ok.

Mothers, I want to thank you for all that you do.  I would like to thank my mother especially because there are many things she “just does” now and those that she always has.  During times when I am not sure how I have made it through a rough day, week month, or year, I sit back and think, I did it because I am her daughter.

I hope someday, when a cure is found and my daughter is thriving, she will look back and see a reflection of all of her strength, all of her courage, and all that she has done in her life to help me be OK.

Help us with this cause by supporting our Designer Bag Bingo.

4/5/18 – St. Charles Borromeo Church Hall – 7:00 PM

Toothpaste Suspicions Prove True

Toothpaste suspicions were accurate.  Something inside was brewing.  My son and I knew it through out unspoken bond.

The irony is that we had a well visit scheduled for that evening.  I was happy to have a set of professional eyes on Kelsey to assure all was well.  All seemed well so my fears were squelched.

That was until 2:00 AM when a child awoke agonizing in pain.  It was her ear. It went on until 6:00 AM when I could provide another dose of a medicine that I hoped would do the trick.   My choice in the middle of the night did anything but the trick and the pain just grew at a steady pace.

In those moments, though an ear infection seems to have developed over night, the mind still drifts.  The worry increases as do the screams of pain.  You hope the morning will bring her relief.  You hope your family will have a sense of relief, too.

It was only an ear infection, thankfully.  Four days later, the pain finally dissipated.   A few days of medication left, you hope that will be the end.

Toothpaste

When rain turns to snow and your husband leaves an hour earlier than usual for work, the day starts off interestingly.
The dog wants no parts of a walk nor do you have an umbrella handy.  You want to make the best of the morning.
You sing a few of your favorite songs with your kids over breakfast and you talk about what fun awaits them today.
You worry about a cough Kelsey has developed.  You do not like the way her eyes look.  You don’t want to say aloud the worry you have every day, but feel acutely today.
You all head upstairs to brush your teeth when fighting ensues in the bathroom.  They are concerned about toothpaste.  They are mad about the duration of each other’s brushing.
When you question your son about the rationale for being upset, he says it is because Kelsey is not brushing her teeth long enough.  I always tell the kids how important dental health is to overall health, and we have been working very hard to help Kelsey care for her teeth independently.
Perhaps it is more than that, though, and perhaps that acute worry of yours is coming off in a way you cannot realize.
You hug your son and thank him for his concern.  You hug your daughter and pray the day goes well.
You hope the weight of the worry will not stick like the snow causing uncertain travels on the roads ahead.

Venom

Field trips are a time for fun and discovery in elementary school.  Kelsey went on her field trip today and her father was able to accompany her.  He was proud to share the day with her.

Throughout the day, I received pictures and updates of the excitement.  They had a wonderful time.

One memory from the day stuck out regarding inquiry and discovery.

The curiosity of snake venom led to a discussion with a museum employee.  The knowledgeable exhibitor shared the common and less known uses of snake venom.  It has led to scientific breakthroughs and enhances medication.

Kelsey looked inquisitively at her father after hearing these words and said, “Dad, snake venom helps make medicine.  Did you hear that?”

“Yes.  Very cool,” he replied.

“Snakes might help me with my disease someday?  What do you think?”

A girl can dream…

Snakes… though I know little about them, I hope we can do better than venom.

Designer Bag Bingo ~ April 5, 2018

St. Charles Borromeo Church Hall * 175 Stagecoach Rd.* Sicklerville, NJ 08081

7:00 PM (Doors open at 6:00 PM)

$30 for 10 games, Raffle for baskets