The perfect storm of few positive changes, new marks, less sanity, more daily or double injections, little sleep, and an uncertainty of when those medications will end has not been easy on my marriage.
Sometimes, I want to be calm when I cannot. Other times, I want to cry when I cannot find tears. I often hide behind a book or try to sleep because I am out of energy and out of words. We both do this at times even though we try our best to stand together. Sometimes it is exhausting.
We try our best to communicate naturally and normally. Most days, it happens with ease.
Other days are not so good. We both find our own ways to cope and sometimes it is not in unison.
For a few weeks, it felt like we were more out of sync than ever. It was troublesome and created new stress for us. I’m sure many who have been married for a long period of time have had similar glitches over other reasons. Not us. Brendan and I have always found a way to be in sync. Our secret has been to somehow be exactly what the other needed at precisely the right time. So this was scary and strange, uncharted territory that I did not want to travel. We were our sadness instead of our solace.
Sometimes, finding time to say the words that are difficult to speak is all you need.
This weekend, we were given the gift of laughter and time together to celebrate Brendan’s birthday. Though the weather was fiercely cold, our puppy grew ill, and our restaurant choice turned out to be a comedy of errors, it was precisely what we needed.
I realize that every day moments are full of surprises for everyone. No one ever said marriage was easy.
Happily, this week, I celebrated the happiness and health of my husband who grew another year more handsome and wise. I fondly sat beside him and we laughed like we have not laughed in a long time.
It was just what I needed, and I thank the village that helped us manage to sneak away. We remembered to take time to love one another and laugh together, in unison. I am grateful for the patience and the strength of our marriage and all that it helps me accomplish day in and day out.
Join us for a St. Paddy’s Day Happy Hour on Friday, March 17 from 5-9 P.M. at Phily Sports Bar. The night will feature games, contests, and fun. Win some liquor, share a toast, and help us raise money for our cause. $35.00 will get you an open bar from 6-8, food, and festivities.