There are few moments when you break down with strength, belief, and hope simultaneously.  Today, I broke down with all three.  It was quite the trifecta.

Recently, Kelsey has been curious about selecting the location for her shot.  She “picks the spot” and seems to feel a bit more at ease by having a say in the process.  She takes her clean, tiny finger and touches various areas.  She tries to find just the right one.  Unfortunately, the spots have been difficult to locate anymore as her skin texture feels rough and more difficult to pierce.  The mornings have been a little bit more difficult (as one may imagine) for her to bear as a result.

Tuesday evening,  I walked into Kelsey’s room to find her fast asleep, snuggling with her prayer shawl instead of her typical rotating stuffed doll.  She took it upon herself to find comfort with it.  It was a bit overwhelming to see.  I wondered if she prayed for an easy Wednesday because it is a day she fears all week long.  

So I asked her about it in the morning and wondered if she remembered taking the shawl before she fell asleep.

Her response was so matter-of-fact, “Yes.  I have been praying for my needle to stop every night.  I really want them to stop, Mom.”  

As do I…

This Wednesday’s injections were among the most challenging we have faced in a long time.  Kelsey shrieked and then she wept.  Her Daddy’s arms gave little comfort as she screamed at an ear piercing level.  In true Kelsey form, she wailed an apology for selecting such a “bad spot” two times in a row.

I screamed my own thoughts silently, but they were certainly not directed at my baby girl.

Tonight, I walked into Kelsey’s room to find her sleeping on top of the shawl.  This time, she was not holding it.  Rather, she carefully and neatly placed it over her pillow and slept soundly atop it.

The sweet image of her dreaming upon the shawl gave me a certain sense of calm, a certain renewal of belief.

I can only hope that her dreams were as serene as she appeared and that her prayers will be answered.

Join us for a St. Paddy’s Day Happy Hour on Friday, March 17 from 5-9 P.M. at Phily Sports Bar.   The night will feature games, contests, and fun.  Win some liquor, share a toast, and help us raise money for our cause.  $35.00 will get you an open bar from 6-8, food, and festivities.